From O.J to Amber: The Perfect Murderers


Someone, anyone, make it make sense!

How is it in the court of public opinion have we inappropriately condemned Brandt Jean, Judge Tammy Kemp, and the cop that was bold enough to touch what looked like  nasty and unhealthy looking hair without gloves or protective gear on Amber’s head?

How is that in less than 48 hours after her sentencing the very people who were in support of Bothom Jean’s family, proud there was a black female judge presiding, and overjoyed at the rainbow coalition selection of the jury (8 women/4 men all diverse backgrounds) are now the very people who are now attacking them? 

Brandt Jean (Bothom Jean’s 18-year-old brother) stated, “I love you as a person and I don’t wish anything bad on you.” He then wanted to show gratitude and give Amber a hug to show her that he had forgiven her in his heart. More so than his faith or religion, it’s his God given right to express himself in that way. He is free! He is not a slave! This family has lost a loved one and out of respect they have the right to heal and process this situation in a way that is honorable to the deceased and vital to their healing. 

With that being said, in accordance with his Christian faith forgiveness is not about the one who committed the offense, it’s about the offended. Many believe they must forgive in order to move forward and be forgiven for their wrongs.  Not to mention I don’t know of any religion that does NOT encourage forgiving others.  

Likewise, people have an issue with the fact that Judge Tammy Kemp gave Guyger a Bible, prayed with her, and also hugged her. Judge Kemp hugged everyone in that courtroom from the looks of it. I find it strange how some African Americans are “dragging” this woman all over social media with cruel memes and posts calling her a sellout and saying she is a “Stockholm Syndrome Negro”. 

We have to get out of that marginalized thinking that just because a person of color does something that you may not agree with that doesn’t automatically mean they are trying to put on airs for the appeasement of white people. Does it happen? Absolutely but I don’t think this one of those times.

I find it particularly hard to fathom that some African American males are even adding to this narrative in such a negative way. The fact remains that white women have historically accused innocent black men of rape, harassment, and other crimes I.e Emmitt Till, Rosewood, Central Park 5, for decades etc. Yet they still find it in their hearts to marry and procreate with white women. So why be upset with Brandt Jean for hugging Guyger?

Black men have a history of forgiving white women in particular when it’s befitting to their personal and sexual needs but when a black woman shows a white woman compassion with NOTHING to gain from it but peace in her heart from sharing her faith, she’s the sellout? 

After doing some research on Kemp along with what I had previously believed to be true about her personally, Judge Tammy Kemp is known for showing unbiased compassion for offenders. This is not the first time she has hugged a killer! This is just the first time WE, the public have seen such an uncanny display of  compassion by a judge but this was not something she did just because the cameras were rolling.

On a personal note, I do think that due to the heat of the crime she should have taken Guyger to her chambers and done this privately if she still found it in her heart to hug a murderer. However her moral compass is of exceptional degree and I have the utmost respect for Judge Tammy Kemp. I think this was genuine.

Nevertheless, I find it rather ironic that people are stating that had Guyger been a black man accused of killing a white woman he would be locked up for life. Well now let’s travel back down memory lane 25 years ago. Literally almost the same date that Amber Guyger a white female was found guilty of murder on October 3, 2019, O.J. Simpson a black man, was acquitted of not one but two murders of a white woman (ex wife) AND a white man (alleged lover) on October 2, 1995.

The same way some people felt in their heart of hearts that OJ committed this crime is the EXACT same way that some of us felt that Amber Guyger knew that was NOT her apartment when she put not one but two bullets into that innocent man’s body.

The question then becomes, “what gives?”

Glad you asked.

Sexism has a deeper history than racism itself. Many jurors felt that O.J was more than likely not a murderer simply because he was a male athlete and a celebrity.  Years later he taunted the public and the family of the deceased with a book entitled, If I Did It and then sickly detailed how he would have killed these two people had he been the “killer”. It was enough to make one regurgitate breakfast.

This is also the same feeling you have upon finding out that Guyger is a racist and her remarks about Martin Luther King Jr. and her fellow black cop coworkers were sickening. Her social media posts about how people should be “glad she hasn’t shot them” makes one feel sick to the stomach. Well Amber dear, you have now and your the one whose not real glad that you did it.  It’s as if she was waiting for the perfect black victim to off one day.

Amber got only ONE pass from me and that was going to the wrong door. But the moment she walked over the threshold of that door she was totally un-lawful, guilty, and became a murderer. I think she thought she was going to get away with it like so many of her white male peers who have taken the lives of black men before her. But as the saying goes, “Every dog has his day” or should we say her day? Wait, what do you call a female dog again? Never mind I digress.

I think she was waiting on the perfect opportunity to take a life period. I suspect she may have even desired Bothom Jean romantically which is the real reason she “accidently” went to his apartment and he rejected her. It is of public record that she was definitely in the mood for sex via her text messages to her MARRIED ex partner just moments before the shooting.  Amber had a knack for “OPP” from homes to husbands but that’s neither here nor there?

O.J and Amber, I mean Amber……was found guilty and with the exception of the Castle doctrine being allowed as a defense she had a fair trial. Most would like to see her complete that full 10 year sentence. I felt more years should have been given but it has been so ordered by the court of law. I do feel they will appeal her sentence.

Amber Guyger needs not to worry. Thankfully she will never be a cop again but she’ll probably get some book deal upon her release from prison. She can title her book If I Do It Again It’s Because I’m Still At The Wrong Apartment Again and have O.J do the forward.  Amber will probably get paid interviews, or perhaps even a free ride to Harding University like Brandt Jean and take a shot and starting a new career. She already has a bible from the judge to help set her on the right path. She’s an adulteress, a murderer, racist, hell she needed that bible don’t you think? A Quran, The Book of Morman, or something.  

At the end of it all I believe that forgiveness can be very essential for the soul but I don’t believe it’s necessary for justice nor does it have to be carried out so expeditiously. 

Shots Fired: All Eyes on West Texas

As I sit here finishing up the rest of my macchiato and watching the boys play inside this McDonald’s, I can’t help but take notice at how intense the other parents and I are watching our children play.

Gun control is not controlled at all.

All of our faces fervid and every five minutes someone keeps looking up at the emergency exits’ as if mapping out an emergency escape plan in the event of a sick or horrific attack like the one that took place yesterday in Midland/Odessa.

Gun control is not controlled.

I myself just so happen to be sitting right next to an exit door and my car literally parked just on the other side of the door. Granted none of this was a conscious choice and mere irony, but I must confess the moment I noticed that I had subconsciously made these arrangements it dawned on me that they now have to be intentional choices whenever we go out in public now.

Gun control is not controlled at all.

As a former West Texan, all I kept thinking was how absolutely terrified the entire cities of Midland and Odessa must have felt once they found out that there was an active shooter taking the lives of innocent people. As I meticulously bounce back and fourth to yesterdays’ tragedy and monitoring my kids at play, I take notice of the little Asian kid (probably age 2 or 3) that they are trying to show how to use the slide. My eyes fill with tears when it hits me that a 17 month old child was shot in the face by someone allowed to carry a gun and use it sickly and viciously how he saw fit.

*Damn…it was hard to even type that just now.

Gun control is not controlled at all.

I then turned up the volume (ear buds in) and finished listening to Jesus is Love by the Commodores.  I am trying my best not to question or fight myself to even ask the Universe why it happened. Just knowing the fact that this is the second major tragedy that West Texas has had within 60 days is draining my soul and a waste of my own energy. I am having to grasp the fact that things like this happen and sadly will continue as long as gun control is under controlled.

I can’t articulate how I feel. All I can say is that I called and reached out to my friends and loved ones in West Texas and though they are still taken aback by the aftermath of it all there are no words of comfort to bring back the lives loss.

So what do we learn? Gun control is not controlled at all. Tragedy can happen anywhere and no one is immune to it. Be humble and thank God you are still amongst the living. Breathe a little deeper, kiss your mate a little sweeter, hug your children a little tighter, because the moment you hear, “Shots fired” you know that someone is no longer among us.

Gun control is not controlled.

Peace and Blessing to all those affected on yesterday.



Jussie Smollett aka Carolyn Bryant Donham, You’re Fired!!!


I’m sure most of us had to look up the name of the latter and now that you have please join me in thanking these two individuals for proving that people of all races, backgrounds, etc can be the face of vile, wicked, and devious acts. For the Bible informs us that there is nothing new under the sun but for some people there apparently is.

I did not believe this story when it first came out and I vocalized that via comment to the You-tube blogger who was covering the story. Upon hearing it, it was like a new movie that was popular but deep down there was something missing from it that prevented me from just rushing out and buying a ticket.  Something about it that was either missing or perhaps too much. My mind kept trying to find the right words and my finger couldn’t quite point it out. It was seasoned but had no flavor, it was oiled but still squeaky, it was a song but not a hit.

Then finally… uncertainty had been laid to rest. My disbelief had been vindicated. The lyrics finally caught up to the song. This sounded real Emmett Till-ish to me! Roles had simply been reversed! The problem is Emmett Till lost his life for the exact same bull you tried to pull. Carolyn Bryant Donham never served a day in jail and decades later said it never happened. This was all a hoax! Two stories so deeply embedded in the darkest of places.

Jussie is the reason why I am not pro-black or a hashtag Black Lives Matter tagging negro. I DO NOT, follow along or support something JUST because it’s black. That’s dangerous and let me tell you why. Call me “whatever” but some of us forget the biggest lesson we should have learned from slavery and it had nothing to do with white folk. Take a deeper look into that mirror right before the Middle Passage. Every slave movie I have ever seen from Roots to the Book of Negros show fellow blacks helping, assisting, and selling slaves!

As with this story, the people who were assisting him with this “lil white lie” were Nigerian. He just wanted a certain demographic of people “stirred up” against whites. For clarification purposes I am not a white apologist either. I could careless about any color. Right is right and wrong is wrong…period!

The ROOT of the first betrayal was by folk with the exact same pigmentation. Now does that mean that the evils further perpetuated by white slave holders is alleviated? Absolutely not! If anything one should step into the awakening that  color of evil has NO COLOR! It’s as deeply embedded in whites and blacks because COLOR has nothing to do with it!

It has been reported that Jussie’s motive was because he wanted more money than the 65k PER Empire episode he was getting. So what’s the ROOT of all evil? I’ll give you a clue! It’s not black or white it’s GREED. I meant green. The fact that he was able to garner some political support, support from fellow blacks, the LGBTQ community, and so forth was extra.

Mr. Smollett your mixed race-ness (half black/half white) is now a perfect example to the world that black and whites can, will, and have lied for attention to stir up racial outrage the same as Carolyn Byrant Donham.  You both sickly wanted attention and you got it. You and her are cut from the same cloth “brother”. I have never watched an episode of Empire (a little to N-word ish for me not to mention it’s on FOX) but from my understanding they have written you out the last two episodes. Simply put, “Your fired”  (in my Donald Trump from the Apprentice voice. By the way I never watched that either but it’s befitting considering you stated you “go so hard against 45” on the interview with Robbin Roberts-ABC).

I would personally like to thank the Chicago Police Department because of the measures they took to thoroughly investigate this crime. Let it be known that they were putting all of their time and energy on a hunt for red October when they thought this was a hate crime against an American citizen who was not only black but gay. They were seeking out justice on your behalf but I knew from jump that you told a “lil white lie” and weren’t being straight with us.

Time is up.



I don’t have a native tongue,  don’t know where I AM from

I was born here, they say go back there, so where is my home? So lost in Rome.

Black-Dumb-Girl your thinking to long!

To much to bare, Black-Dumb-Girl you’re from everywhere!

I like sweets, I’ve had so much to eat, southern sweet tea

Sweet is inside of me! Oh sweet lady, oh sweet baby

He said this sweet thing is good, He lives in my hood,

He say, she-say, it’s ALL good. He say don’t stop.

Black-Dumb-Girl He knows your sweet spot!


He says be easy, he says no worries, he scared ME to death,

Said meet Him at the cemetery! Concrete grave its so hard

What’s a black-dumb-girl to do? Kiss, kiss ugly-smart-woman,

Let him inside of you!

Kiss-kiss, keep it simple stupid, that is the order of the court!

Keep thinking Beautiful-Intelligent-Female,

Your thoughts I must ABORT!


I AM hurt!

I AM crazy!

I gave it all away!

My death tears fall like rain and it rains everyday…

Gave us the sun, gave her a son,

One in heaven I AM now born..

Oh boy! A Beautiful. Wonderful. Girl…


One in the same…

New testament rules…

Old testament game…


She said tell them WHOSE you are dumb-black-girl!

You can be whatever you want to be in this world!

Smart-boy-white knows how to get it right,

He can give or take like a thief in the night!

Well then, Mistress Teacher, yes I iz!

Gonna teach all the saints in America one ‘mo ‘gen

Don’t hurt my children, don’t touch da kids!

Dark days and city lights!

Only children…

Taught em’ how to fight…


This is MY country, their inheritance,  yes it is!

You don’t know where I’m from!

You don’t know where I’ve been!

We don’t play together, you NEVER wanted to be friends.

I AM the salt of the earth, I AM your mother!

I AM his wife, I AM his lover, Married and United!

NEVER love another!

I AM the great I AM.. America!




My salty kisses he loves, I AM liberty!

Free to pass for trade I AM the first lady!

How many times must we BI-pass rules?

I AM the face of America!

I can trans ALL you fools!

So who is his other lover? Who is her brother?

Pay back of the 1st girl you called black

Is a real Mutha!


#she thinks out loud

*The word dog is sometimes coded in the dyslexic mind as God spelled backwards and vice versa, therefore my doG has been loyal and faithful to me all my life but God is my master and owner. 

*Gender is irrelevant, and MY children on earth are blessed.

*the color black is produced by the mixture of all colors

*mutha is an African American colloquialism that means mother











Abort All The Boys-Roe V. Wade

After seeing a post from a friend that’s been like a big brother to me. I decided to give him a call after seeing he was in the ER with broken bones and still was hurting and in pain. 


Me: I’m trying my best not to panic. What happen Tommy-Baby (my nickname for him)?

Him: I’m fine Elle. I was changing the tire on my car last week and the tire fell on my foot. I’m just so use to dealing with pain I didn’t think I needed to go to the doctor but come to find out I have a few broken bones in my foot.

Me: How in the hell do you manage to go to work let alone walk with broken bones in your foot of all places!  Omg! You are such a MAN! If people only knew!

*both laughing and giggling


Funny thought.

If people only knew.

I have admired this man so much ever since we met in college. He is one of the most brilliant thinkers and compassionate souls walking around on earth.  Dare I add that these are just a few qualities that we as Christians love about Jesus. Jesus was a brilliant thinker and a compassionate man. Tommy-Baby has actually shared with me and taught me some very deep things about the Bible itself that have been hands down irrefutable.

Tommy-Baby has always impressed me because he is the epitome of a real man and an anomaly to most. Harder worker, chivalrous, always in great spirits, and knows how to treat a woman! Before his mother passed he moved mountains and stretched valleys just to take care of her. Likewise when his sister’s health started to decline he relocated, spent more of his time and money, and took care of her.

Upon hearing the he was now not well and that there wasn’t a soul by his side to nurse him back to health my heart hurt for him. When he uttered, “I am so use to dealing with pain Elle,” I knew at that moment that more so than the fractioned bones in his foot, he was talking about the pain inflicted on him and caused by others in his life.

My dearest friend Tommy-Baby is gay.

As a mother of two male children, I have often wondered what my sons will become when they are older. How successful will they be? Will they find true love? Will they bring me some beautiful grand babies?

When I sit back and watch Azariah and Caleb play and fight and fight and play, I don’t know if I am raising the next Barack Obama or Donald Trump or the next Charles Manson or Wayne Williams! I have no idea! All I know is that my ex-husband and I will try our best to train both of our boys up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).

In the event that one of my boys comes home from college for the holidays with his male lover, I don’t have to think about how I am going to react. I will see the child I love with someone he loves. I will see two human beings that need a good meal and shelter. I will see what God sees.

I will see two people that better cut my grass AND help put my fake lashes back on before they head back to school with my best Tupperware. I could careless who does what or what goes on behind closed doors betwixt them.

I will simply see what God sees….two children that both need to know what true love is and for that a hungry soul is welcomed into my house without condemnation from me. I don’t understand parents that have denied loved to their own flesh and blood because of their personal choices to affiliate themselves with the LGBTQ community. I truly don’t.

Gay is synonymous for the word happy and children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3) . I would take that as a message from God himself telling me to not worry and to be happy! If there is a legitimate struggle or confusion to his sexuality then that is for God to convict him of and not the good “Christian folk” that attend the church. Priest and pastors included.

There is so much hypocrisy in the Christian church today that we have ran out all of God’s children because we only LOVE certain kids instead of all “the kids”.  Politically speaking there are still children being left behind. God said, love ALL MY CHILDREN but we still keep watching soap operas instead of dealing with the drama around us for the sake of the innocent ones in HIS eyes.

The first command of God was simply to love and the second was to love thy neighbor as they self. We have all fallen short of his glory yet we put such an emphases on the lifestyles choices of our fellow man.

We give more life to a situation by making it more problematic. If you know what I know about homosexuality you would know that the churches and pastors that speak the hardest AGAINST it are the ones that have the most suppressed thoughts and possibly passed relational experiences in it. A lot of self appointed and self righteous  pastors  preach from a standpoint of personal projection.

Nevertheless, if you are that “holy” by your own merit than why don’t you lobby to kill all the little boys ages 2 and under just like Herod “the great” in the Bible? Let’s be “pro-active” and kill off all the God-given happy genes in all the boys. Let’s kill two birds with one stone here.  Let’s turn to the Gospel of Matthew and abort all the innocent, infant boys. My only question is, what would Jesus do? A mere question we so often forget to ask because we still don’t want to love everyone so we cruelly justify a way not to do it.

Funny thought.

If people only knew.


*”the kids” is a slang term used by the LGBTQ community that means us (i.e the kids are the LGBTQ community as a whole)

*  No Child left Behind was an act with major Bipartisan support in 2001

* Wayne Williams an African American serial killer that killed dozens of black adult men and young boys in Atlanta in the 1980’s (life sentence)

*projection an expectation or prognosis

Dear Pregnant Men…

“….a woman can’t have as much rights as a man
cause Christ wasn’t a woman….
Where did your Christ come from?
From God and a woman!
Man had nothing to do with him!

-Sojourner Truth : Women’s Convention 1852

Did you see that? Did you miss it girlfriend? The Biblical Truth that affirms why a mans’ opinion of what a woman should do with her uterus is betwixt her and the Lord?

The Lord Christ Jesus was conceived by way of God almighty and a natural, earthly woman! Man wasn’t needed for that! God never asked Joseph what he THOUGHT about what HE had placed in Mary! Therefore no man (unless he is a medical doctor) can tell me anything about what is in my womb.

Back in the day men were not even allowed into the labor and delivery room. The birth of a child was facilitated by women, nurses, and midwives. Likewise, when a medically necessary abortion took place to save the mother or the child (you know…murder)…men were not allowed to have a say so. Correct me if I am wrong, but as of today when a woman goes into labor at the hospital doctors nor the mother still don’t stop and ask the father if he is okay that they proceed with what is it taking place in her womb at that moment.

Now I am the first to tell anyone that I think that the Women’s liberation act of the 1960’s-1970’s was one of the worst things that happened in our society in terms of men and women relationally. Why? Because it created division (satan) amongst the sexes and taught men and women to compete with each other. And as with any movement, extremist got involved and fraternal twins Miss Independent and G.I. Jane were born.

Well for an old fashion southern girl like me, this creates a bit of a dichotomy. I don’t want to fight in any war but I do know how to fight. I am not built for battle but I know how to put on the full Armor of God. Please keep me in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant because that’s where this independent woman prefers to be.

However, there are some women who don’t want any children or have a desire to be married. They enjoy singlehood and though they are alone they are not longing for anyone. Then there is that OTHER sister…who loves climbing trees, knows how to change a carburetor, and hell bent on joining the war…LET HER FIGHT!

Yet, upon a womans’ CHOICE to work, stay home, or join the military she should be given equal rights to vote, equal benefits, equal pay, etc all the days of her LIFE. Despite the cons the most brilliant pro is that the women’s liberation was one of the few times in history that both left and right wing parties got together without a lot of division. You see girl power is nothing new and we have always been stronger together. Not to mention that it was the womens’ movement that integrated men into the delivery rooms to witness the birth of their children (You’re welcome fellas).

So now let’s get to you other human beings….men. Let’s talk about YOUR reproductive organs. Which for some reason I have never understood why we don’t EQUALLY talk about that. It amazes me how folk get so focused on a woman being pregnant and her sin (if she is not married), her choice as pro-life or pro-choice, etc. but we never talk about the male reproductive system inside of his body. Unless you are GOD and gave Christ to Mary…pregnancy involves a man. To leave male reproductive organs out of conversation is biased RIGHT? Any man that has a modicum of intelligence should equally respect a womans’ CHOICE as it pertains to her LIFE.

If someone breaks in your house and you shoot and kill them you have committed MURDER. Don’t justify to me via U.S Constitution or your legal rights about anything. According to the Bible you took someone’s life. Your a murderer righteous one! You don’t see it that way huh? Guess what? You do not have a legal right to KILL! You have a legal right to defend yourself according to the law of the land not the law of God. Yet, God still loves you regardless.

Therefore, if a woman choses to terminate a pregnancy…the same God still loves her! And guess what? Likewise, Mary DID NOT have a choice. God can over ride an abortion too! Judah in the 38th chapter of Genesis committed fornication, incest (not blood but by affinity) with his daughter in law Tamar, got her pregnant and wanted her dead and the baby aborted. This MAN, Judah son of Jacob wanted to abort his child in her womb. Read for yourself to see how that plays out in the scriptures and take note of the fact that Judah called HER righteous!

So let’s be clear, the pull out method, condoms, birth control pills, hysterectomies, and vasectomies, the tying of tubes are all forms of preventive measures directly AGAINST LIFE and BIRTH of an un-born child. You have PREVENTED it into manifesting into life. How then is that different from the termination of a pregnancy? One person is preventing it ALL together PROACTIVELY (condoms, birth control pills, hysterectomies (partial or full), and men who have vasectomies) and one person does it after REACTIVELY!

If you are not wise enough to understand YOUR own political views from Biblical truth your a hypocrite!

Likewise, there are virgins that take birth control pills. Not because they are thinking about sex but because it regulates their cycles and lightens the pain of cramps, there are women who have had to have an abortion for medical reason, there are women who have severe issues just like the woman with an issue of blood (Luke) with their reproductive organs, etc. Think of it this way dear saint, if you have ever used any of those measures you have PREVENTED LIFE based a CHOICE and that’s not God’s plan for reproduction.

If you use any of these do not be a hypocrite and yet say that you are PRO-LIFE when you behind closed doors BETWEEN you and the Lord, secretly made a PRO-CHOICE! As a matter of fact, according to the word, Onan did the “pull out” method (a MAN in the Bible made a pro-choice) and in the Lord’s sight that was wicked and he was put to death because of it (Genesis 38:9). It’s safe to say that the beauty of ejaculation was intentional.

So let me be great and remind you Americans again, that if God wants birth to take place He does not need permission from an earthly man or woman, hence the immaculate conception Savior Jesus Christ.

Likewise, God…. not PLANNED PARENTHOOD can override the choice of a woman to abort a baby if HE chooses. Research the birth of gospel artist Fred Hammond. His mother not only went in and HAD the abortion procedure done once but they made an attempt a second time and guess what? That didn’t work either and hence we have a man of God that has spent his whole life sharing the message his Glory to Glory!

An abortion is no greater than any other sin. God does what He wants, when he wants to WHOM He wants to. No one has the right to force their Pro-Life nor Pro-Choice politics on anyone because that has nothing to do with God!

In the event that you directly or inadvertently get in a pulpit and mix your PERSONAL BIASED POLITICS with God’s words it shows a lack of class and intelligence. I don’t care how much money is in your bank account are how many degrees you have (or lack there of). The Word of God says obey the laws of the land (Romans 13). Those who refuse to obey the laws, refuse God.

What does the LAW say about Politics and Pulpits out of curiosity? I know what it says. Do you? If God’s law is the ultimate trump-card for you then your political views are pointless when YOU KNOW what His law is. Yet, I think it’s of bad taste to take advantage of people who may not have the intellectual capacity or education to understand the difference.

Not to mention those who are simply lazy or to trusting and don’t make an attempt to find information on their own. So they put their faith in people they trust. People who have influential powers KNOW this. Some use their powers for good, some use them for evil. Yet, we have all fallen short and there is no judgment to one who believes in Him.

It is God’s CHOICE to give or take away LIFE and He doesn’t need our permission or political thoughts, to have His will be done.

Oh and in case your wondering, my celibacy is intentional despite temptations and cold showers. I am not a fornicator (tempting), I am no longer married, and I DO NOT take birth control or any other measures to prevent pregnancy at all. There is no need. And lastly, my reproductive organs are still intact and I can still have children.

So according to your calculations I have a glorified righteous Republican womb. Meaning, a woman that DOES not have a fully functional uterus by way of a hysterectomy has a an evil Democratic womb? Well I hope she votes “accordingly”. Looks like one of the wombs are cursed according to the scriptures and will never bring forth life. One of these wombs will never pass down the evil from the next generation?

In the eyes of God a woman should never be damned to hell if the CHOICES in her LIFE circumstances, health, etc forced her to make un easy or hard decision because her reproductive organs are not “RIGHT” compared to mine.

God loves triumphs it all, not Trumps’ it all regardless of what YOU think is the better deal.

Think for yourself.
….after all…Jesus called the disciples to a higher level of thinking. RIGHT?

#she thinks out loud

Black Trash, Watermelon, and Chicken (Black Dems and Black Reps)

Dear Black Republicans and Black Democrats….

First and Foremost stop anyone from addressing you as I just did. Inform them that you are a person who just so happens to be black and or democrat or republican. Don’t ever let someone override the fact that you are a human being first. I’m personally not impressed with the parties you support nor the color of your skin.

Secondly, I do not like to personally platform myself as a representative or speaker on behalf of African Americans because I am not. I am simply a person of independent thought who just so happens to be black. For people of ignorance (regardless of color) stating that just now was important for you unless you know me personally.

A few years back in my 20’s (my real 20’s) I worked in an administrative position in the corporate sector for a company that just so happen to be black. I was very proud to work there and be a part of that legacy because I knew the history of the African American founders who built it from the ground up.

This was one of the biggest lessons I learned as a human being. Due to my whistleblower crusade of simply sharing truth about the corruption taking place.  I upset a lot of wealthy black democrats and some of them will spend the rest of their lives behind bars as of today. I was called an Uncle Tom, a sell-out, a snitch, and at worst upset because I wasn’t getting any of the “cut” and a host of other names meant to make me feel as the Benedict Arnold of the black race).

The congresswoman of the 18th Congressional district called me herself. (#facts). I didn’t care for her way of doing things and she was affiliated with these people but as with anyone in a leadership position, I respected her. Jilted by mere words of truth it was there, I realized how SOME people of color, in positions of power and money will play on your emotions for the purpose of controlling you. Sure you may think your making your own choice because by golly your choosing to be there but try to leave and see if you don’t become the number one enemy simply because you think differently.

Many moons ago I blogged about this BLACK corporation, operated by black people who had a plantation of employees captured in modern day slavery. There was not a single white person around. The wealthy “massa” on these grounds banking out this stolen generational wealth were BLACK. Compassionately, knowing what I knew about right and wrong I had to bypass all that “the man just trying to keep us down”  way of thinking.

I dissociated myself from “pro-black-ness” because righteousness had a better taste to it. When I support something and it’s a good thing that just so happens to be black (for instance black owned business) awesome! However I’m not impressed and you don’t get my vote for anything just because it’s black either.

I realized that aligning yourself with something JUST because it’s black and NOTHING else can be dangerous. This is why I never hash-tagged Black Lives Matter. The problem was a little glitch in wording. It should have stated Black Lives Matter Too. The addendum of the word Too was strongly needed. I know the story, pain, and purpose by which it was founded upon.

Yet, culturally speaking I know that there is a certain demographic of black people that will inject themselves into a movement and turn it totally radical due to a severe lack of understanding. For that same lack of understanding, you had non people of color who were offended by it. Why? To them, as non people of color and as ignorant as it may sound, they perceived that as being dismissive to other races and ethnic groups. I can understand that. I can see things from their perspective.

As a result, the rebuttal #All Lives Matter took form. Hence, satan strikes again and created division. Look my loves, (in my Monique voice) simply put, All lives do matter but it was never to suggest that other lives didn’t. I embraced Dr. King’s message of unity and I base my alignment with people off the content of their character. I suggest everyone else learns to do the same.

Moving RIGHT along…

It’s disappointing that people have issues with black conservatives. In 2018, when I hear people of any race calling black republicans everything but a child of the king it let’s me know we has a human race have not progressed much.

In addition to other awards, the award I received years ago during my internship in Arizona from the 22nd Governor of Arizona (R) is something I hold on to vastly.

However, call a spade a spade. It amazes me how people from the “bottoms” get to the “top” and have hence “arrived”. It tickles me to death. Not because of your affiliations but because so many grew up benefitting from liberal programs (food stamps, housing, etc.) and because the dollars in your bank accounts allots you the privilege to be in a different tax bracket you can’t eat watermelon or chicken anymore. You grew up benefitting from welfare (you know, after you ate the welfare food) and forget that there are others who were in the exact same predicament and neighborhoods your from.

My grandmother raised 3 children on her own and never took ANY type of handout or governmental assistance. She worked for everything she has attained. Yet some of us have hung around other (you know, people who BEEN having money, old money, not new money) trying your absolute best to create the element and sense of wanting people to think that your some type of anomaly to other black people. “I’m black but I’m not like the other “negros”.

All in all it’s very dangerous when you go to far trying to separate yourself from the culture. Why? Whenever you drift to far away from people, God can’t effectively use you anymore. The trick of the enemy is making you take those that look like you for granted.

Call a spade a spade.

So in closing….

For any black conservatives that have a problem with the fact that former President Obama and his wife were initially middle class, entered the white house, and left rich….my question to you is, What was wrong with that? Highlight the sin in someone acquiring wealth (you did too, right?). I don’t think he received anything more than his predecessors.

For all you black egalitarians that simply voted for him just because he was black then got upset when you didn’t get your 40 acres and a mule…..where in his campaign did he promise to do anything for a whole race of black people?

To vote a certain way simply because mama ‘nem did is the epitome of ignorance as of 2018- Mr. Black Democrat

To vote against and speak against someone because your trying to impress or mimic what you think are white behaviors, wait…I meant right behavior is twice as dumb because that indicates that you have a deeply imbedded slave mentality. Subconsciously you have bought the farm on thinking everything white is right and everything black is bad. -Mr. Black Republican

Let’s be clear you legally “have” and you did not WORK for is nothing more than welfare, and a handout by definition. If you have been on government assistance all your life, poverty is a sin.

In closing we need not think alike to love alike (John Wesley) but don’t tell people HOW to think. Tell folk how to love. For this is the message of the word. The renewing of a persons’ mind is God’s job, not the democrats or republicans!

Therefore leave YOUR thoughts and YOUR views out of folks minds. Stop mentally molesting people with YOUR views because you are grooming them to reject everyone else unless you are telling them both sides.

For even the canonical gospels of Matthew, Luke, Mark, and John contained different perspectives.  It’s commonly known that there are two sides to every story. Listening to one side is biased and EVEN that is okay and well respected as long as you keep that to yourself. In a court of law do they solely just listen to the prosecution?

Learn as much as you can about both parties be ye democrats or republican and make an intelligent decision on your own and once you do don’t try to influence people to align their views with yours. If a person is going to go to hell because he is a democrat or because he was republican I assure you God would not have left that out of the Bible.

Black Republicans and Black Democrats that are ill-informed about political issues yet present their views on a biased basis, and regurgitate idealisms as if they are innately and cognitively their own thoughts are nothing more than black trash. I know that may seem a bit harsh but that my dear friends is my own personal biased regarding BOTH parties unequivocally. I am certain that other non-black people watching from afar, feel the same way. Truth has no political party or color. THINK for yourself!


*Calling a spade a spade is an African American colloquialism that simply means tell something truthfully 

*nem’ is an African American colloquialism that means everyone

#she thinks out loud






When Daddy left…

My biggest fear when I made the decision to leave my ex-husband was the reality that my children would not be raised in the same household with both mother and father.  I was terrified to be a single parent. Not because I was afraid of being a single woman but because I was afraid of being a single woman with children. I didn’t want that stigma. I didn’t want people automatically stereotyping me and my kids. I didn’t want to be seen as just “another black single mother with kids”.

I got over that.

God helped me realize that those “man made judgements and labels” is what the world sees, not what He sees. He still calls me by name. I embraced my fear and despite it’s challenges being a single mom has been hands down the biggest experience that has taught me and continuing to teach me so much about the real meaning of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

But the challenges.

There is nothing like hearing how hard or painful something is (i.e labor, toothache, migraine, grieving, betrayal, etc.) versus actually experiencing it first hand. You brace yourself as much as you can, then it hits you. I was familiar with single mothers saying how much their hearts can be in pain for their children yet, I didn’t fully understand until it was my time to bat.

Their father moved away from them.

Days before he relocated back to Dallas he called and informed me that he was simply relocating because “the city of Midland had drained him” and “nothing here for him in Midland ” and blah, blah, blah. My ears were waiting on him to state how this move was going to benefit his two children in someway. Yet nothing more than that old narcissism (a disorder in which a person has inflated sense of who they really or/self importance) rose from within.

“I…me…my…blah blah…me…blah blah….I…me…my” are the only words stated. I think my favorite excuse when he stated “I’m not trying to be that guy that only sees his kids every six months.” Well, that sounded “soothing” for the children’s sake but he currently only saw them twice a month and we live in a small town. He never asked to see them beyond that. Despite this particular “courtesy call” he stated that from now until he relocated he was going to try to spend every single moment with them and asked if it would be okay with me. As always, I agreed.

He never called to ask for them during that time. My heart was in pain for my children.

Our two boys (age 4 and soon to be 3) are at that age were they love to make believe, pretend, and have magical thoughts. So quite honestly, they currently think their dad is a Superhero. I dare not taint their tales of “daddy did this mommy” “or my daddy is the strongest”. I simply mimic their excitement and delight in their innocence knowing that there is only one member in our triad family that knows the reality of who daddy is in opposition to the fantasy of who he is not. I for many days and nights use to see him through those same eyes of innocence.

As predicted he simply waited for his court ordered day (24 hours every 1st, 3rd, 5th Tuesday of the month) to see them. During the exchange I asked if he had talked to the boys and informed them that he was moving away. He stated that he didn’t think they really understood. Needless to say that burden will be on me to explain.

My heart was in pain for my children.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain to my extremely intelligent 4 year old who currently marks off the days on a calendar when it’s time for he and his brother to go to daddy’s house and my soon to be 3 year old he simply says “time for dad’s house or is he at work again” how that little time with daddy will be longer. I am trying to think of new routes to avoid passing his apartment so that the kids won’t be tempted to look in the parking lot for his car when we pass by.

In addition to that, about 25 percent of what I felt was a slap in the face. I wanted to high tail it back to Dallas days after separating. However, I kept thinking I know he’s upset with me but despite how I feel, I am not going to take these boys away from their dad. He will eventually calm down and refocus on the children.

That never happened and as fate would have it Daddy left them.

From a moral standpoint had I asked someone to give up the their job with benefits, school (had just applied to go back to school), family, friends and move away with me at minimum if things were to not work out for whatever reason I would feel obligated to help them move back. I would offer to assist on moving them back considering they sacrificed so much for me.

I’ve had to accept that I felt that way because I have moral views and values. He doesn’t have that feeling because his character is totally void of moral views and values.  There are many men out there who would not ever think of moving away from their children regardless of their toxic relationships with their ex-wives or mother of their children.

I know many men that have literally gotten homes in the same neighbors that the mother lives so that the children can have the option and convivence of coming over whenever they want to. Then again, those are men with moral character, value, and sacrificial fathers. There is a difference.

So to my sons who will one day grow out of thinking that daddy is a superhero, who will eventually stop asking where daddy is, or when are we going to daddy’s house…daddy left. He moved away but God will never leave nor forsake us. God has shown me that I can not protect you two from every disappointment, heartache, or feelings of abandonment. As a mother learning this for the first time hurt me to my core. I have hence relinquished that feeling as well. All mommy can do is support you and guide your feeling the best I can but the healing that God will provide will be far greater than what we can even imagine.

You two will be stronger men and not broken men because of his choices. The sins of your father will NOT fall on you sons (Ezekiel 18:19-20).

You see…life has gotten better for us all since the day he left. This use to be very scary to me. We have way more then we had when he was in the household. We get blessed all the time for the most unexplainable reasons by people I don’t even get the pleasure of seeing a second time or knowing who they are. We have gone to restaurants before and right before I get ready to pay the bill the waiter informs me that someone has paid for our meal already.

I’ve hustled to pay off the lay-a-way for Christmas for the past two years now, there have been given hundreds (plural hundreds) of dollars from people at church who don’t have any idea who I am or my situation. I have gone back to school (finished my program in less than a year) started my own seasonal business, and meet some amazing people! I even had the honor of meeting former congressman Allen West last week at the Midland country club which I have now been twice. I don’t have country club money but God has had me there.

You see life for us my dear sweet sons got better…when daddy left and for that we wish him the best! My ex-husband is an amazing person and he tries his best. For that I have the utmost respect for him despite our trials and tribulations.

#she thinks out loud

These last two crackers…

Lunch on me! Ever wanted to say that to a big group of folk? Unfortunately, my bank account is not set up that way just yet but let me tell you about these last two crackers here in Midland.

Back during my stay at home mom days when we first arrived in Midland I frequented the library. I’ve always been a big lover of books and a firm believer in utilizing community resources. Likewise I was always at the library either taking my boys to story time or grabbing the latest James Patterson novel via play-a-way (who can read a whole James Patterson novel in real life?)

One particular afternoon I was distracted in a conversation with the librarian about the upcoming fall activities and my little kiddos had eaten what they wanted of their snack (crackers and apple juice) and made the executive decision to crunch, crumble, and confetti the rest of their crackers on each others heads!

As any good mother would do, I cut off my conversation immediately and started yelling at my kids.  I was so frustrated (mainly at myself) but even more so that they were playing in all things food. As I did my best to make into the entry way of the library there was a man holding the door ajar for the kids and I. I couldn’t help but to notice that he looked as if he was down on his luck. Everything he owned looked like it was in his back pack which was covered in dirt. His clothes were a mixture of oversized and undersized garments and he smelled as if he could use a shower.

I wasn’t the least bit offended or off put by his presence not only because of my background both professionally and personally but mainly because I know that anyone could be down on their luck for a number of reasons. He stood there patiently none the less with a smile on his face and holding the door for us. He even helped me get some of those crackers out of my kids stroller.

Just as I thanked him for holding the door and helping me I was about to throw the last two crackers away but he stopped me and kindly asked, “Ma’am, do you mind if I have those last two crackers?” As I extended my arm and handed those two crackers to him God humbled my heart in such a special way. Not to mention, I had to think of how humbling that was for someone to ask for two crackers that my germ filled hand kids had played with and possibly fell on the floor. He was hungry.

I was never able to get the image of that man out of my head. It took me back to an idea I once had when I lived on the southeast side of Houston. I was single with no kids then and God knows I had more free time to do it then then I do now, but now it’s different. Now it tugs at me a little more. It’s a little more personal.

I am currently divorced with two small kids and I can tell you that when I look back over the past year of my life….God was there for us. He came in many different forms and people. He was in the trees, the music, He was even in the sound of my car engine when I was anticipating it to breakdown but never did. I decided to be a vessel and “let the Lord” use me just like so many people have done for me and my children.

For less than 20 bucks I was able to buy a loaf of bread, lunchmeat, cheese, chips, drinks, sandwich bags, paper bags, and made about 10 sack lunches for the displaced people on the streets of Midland. My first stop of course was the library. I know 1st hand that many homeless people frequent the downtown library trying to escape the harsh elements from outside. They don’t bother anyone and are usually reading or looking for local resources to help them. Sure some of them are on drugs and all of them are not so nice and sweet but EVERYBODY gets hungry!

I couldn’t imagine (fluffy as I am) not having enough to eat or not know where my next meal is going to come from. The man that asked for those last 2 crackers that I was about to throw away help me realize that food was something that I had taken for granted. I do my best now to make sure my kids and I don’t waste for. More often than not I prepare all of our meals now and eating out or delivery is very scarce compared to what it use to be. Let’s stop ignoring the homeless people on the streets of West Texas. Feel free to contact me if you would like to help. PhotoGrid_1506259713295    Peace, Blessings, and eat wisely. #she thinks out loud